Letting Go: The Self-Indulgent Nature Of Forgiveness

Rethinking Forgiveness in Relationships

Forgiveness can feel like one of the hardest things to do in a relationship. It often gets wrapped up in ideas of fairness, accountability, or even self-protection. Many people resist forgiving their partner because it seems like doing so would mean excusing bad behavior, or letting them “get away” with something.

But what if forgiveness isn’t about your partner at all?

What if it's actually a gift you give yourself?

Forgiveness as a Self-Benefiting Act

In this powerful talk, Linda Pransky reframes forgiveness as something deeply self-indulgent—in the best way possible. When you hold onto resentment or hurt, you’re the one who carries the weight. The anger, the mental replays, the tension… all of it lives in your head and your body, not your partner’s.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or pretending it didn’t matter. It means freeing up the mental and emotional space taken up by that event—so you can have more clarity, presence, and well-being right now.

What Changes When You Forgive

When you forgive, you’re no longer mentally dragging that baggage into your present moment. You become more mentally equipped to face whatever is in front of you. You’re more open, more resilient, and less likely to fall into reactive patterns when problems arise.

It’s not about letting someone off the hook. It’s about letting yourself off the hook.

Listen to more from Linda here.