Resisting Change | Why We Stay Stuck
We all resist change at some point in our lives. Whether it’s staying in a job we dislike, holding onto habits we want to break, or avoiding conversations we know we need to have, resistance can feel like an unmovable force. It keeps us in a state of limbo, torn between wanting something new and clinging to the familiar. But what if the force behind our resistance wasn’t as powerful or fixed as it seems?Â
The understanding of the Three Principles—Mind, Thought, and Consciousness—offers a different perspective: resistance is not an external force. It’s not something that holds us captive. It’s simply a creation of thought. And when we see it that way, the nature of resistance begins to change.Â
Thought and ResistanceÂ
Resistance to change often stems from the stories we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves that change is risky, uncomfortable, or unsafe. These stories are rooted in our thinking about what feels familiar and secure, even if we aren’t happy with our current circumstances. For example, staying in a job that no longer fulfills you might feel safer than venturing into the unknown. Or, you might resist letting go of an unhealthy habit because it provides temporary comfort, despite knowing it’s not good for your long-term well-being.Â
These stories, however, are not truths—they are simply thoughts. And thoughts are fluid and ever-changing. The moment we recognize that our resistance to change is created by thought, we begin to see that it’s not a permanent barrier. It’s a temporary mental state, one that shifts as our thinking shifts.Â
Consider how quickly a new perspective can change your relationship with resistance. One day you may feel stuck and hopeless, and the next, a fresh idea or insight emerges, and the situation suddenly feels more manageable. This shift isn’t because the external circumstances changed, but because your thinking about the situation changed. You stopped seeing resistance as an immovable object and began to recognize it as a fleeting product of your current state of mind.Â
Why Do We Resist?Â
One of the reasons we resist change is because we associate it with uncertainty. Our minds naturally seek familiarity and routine, even if those routines don’t serve us. This is why someone might stay in an unsatisfying relationship, avoid trying something new, or shy away from making a big decision. The discomfort of staying stuck often feels more predictable than the potential discomfort of the unknown.Â
But when we look more deeply at why we resist, we see that it’s not the change itself that’s frightening—it’s our thinking about change. Our thoughts create stories about what might happen, and often these stories are fueled by fear. What if I fail? What if this decision makes things worse? These "what ifs" are nothing more than mental projections that pull us away from the present moment and prevent us from seeing the real opportunities for growth and transformation.Â
The key to moving through resistance is not about fighting against it or pushing ourselves to "be stronger." It’s about recognizing that the stories creating resistance are just that—stories. And like all thoughts, they have the potential to shift and dissolve.Â
Consciousness and New PerspectivesÂ
Consciousness, one of the Three Principles, plays a vital role in helping us see through resistance. Consciousness allows us to become aware of our thoughts and recognize them as temporary, rather than fixed. It’s this awareness that creates space for new perspectives to emerge.Â
When we become aware of our resistance, we can begin to see it for what it is—just thought in motion. It’s not something we need to manage, control, or overcome. In fact, the more we try to force our way through resistance, the more energy we give it. However, when we stop fueling resistance with fearful thinking, it dissolves naturally. It’s like trying to hold onto a rope in a tug of war—when you let go of the tension, the rope slackens, and the struggle dissipates.Â
In moments of awareness, we can step back and notice that resistance doesn’t need to dictate our actions. We don’t need to wait for resistance to fade before making a decision or moving forward. We can move forward in spite of it, knowing that resistance is a temporary mental state, not a reflection of our true capabilities.Â
Embracing Change with OpennessÂ
When we understand that resistance is simply a creation of thought, we become more open to change. We stop seeing it as something to be feared or avoided, and instead recognize that change is a natural part of life. In fact, it’s in moments of change and transition that we often experience the most growth.Â
By embracing the idea that resistance is not a permanent state, we give ourselves permission to step into new possibilities. We begin to trust that even though change can be uncomfortable, it can also be exciting, expansive, and filled with opportunities we couldn’t see before. The key is not to wait for the perfect moment to act, but to trust that the act of moving forward will bring clarity, even in the face of resistance.Â
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ConclusionÂ
Resisting change is not a permanent state—it’s a habit of thought that can shift the moment we see it for what it is. When we understand that resistance is just a creation of our thinking, we stop taking it so seriously. We become more open to new possibilities, growth, and transformation, recognizing that change is an opportunity to step into something greater, not something to fear.Â
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